Reporting From Fifteen Weeks In….There's Light!

It's been nearly four months since the lil' guy showed up and added his own groove to our family circle. He's plump, adorable and active. Big sister is in love with him, as are my husband and I. At this point, we are starting to notice a few things.

#1.  We should have named him Houdini. The dude would not be swaddled without a fight. This kid, in the blurry, early weeks, hated swaddling in the will-fight-for-an-hour, kick legs viciously, wiggle and worm his way to freedom, those blankets will NOT stay around me kind of way. Our first child loved it, loved being wrapped into a burrito of blankets but so far, number two wants to be free, free, free, to wave his hands, chew his fists and stretch out. Most night when I come in to feed him, he's completely unwrapped and happy, happy, happy.

#2.  My baby books were helpful… but I'm not a failure for breaking rank.   I would find myself frantically thumbing through the dog-eared Mommy Guide, the super duper helpful tome to which I dutifully adhered while grooming my little lady for good sleep habits, eating habits etc., etc. Yeah, some of it works this time as well, but some of it doesn't. Some of it just doesn't apply to moms dealing with an active toddler or pre-schooler or just about any age schooler. This time around I'm trying to go with the flow, take it easy and remember no one, no mom, or dad, can do it all or be perfect.

#3.  I had SO much free time when there was only one. Only recently, as he can manage to stay up for a couple of hours and therefore has started taking longer naps, will he sleep for longer than 45 minutes. When kiddo numero uno is also on the scene, forget about it. Going to the bathroom is about all the alone time granted this mama until lights out.

#4. There is enough love for everyone. My heart is so open. The little guy is so great and so much fun already, I'm so excited to watch another fabulous human being discover what this life and this earth has to offer in the way of food, music, color, friends, reading, running, playing, nature and love. While I was pregnant with him, and I know all parents must have these thoughts, I couldn't help thinking, will I feel differently about him? Will I resent the time it takes away from my first child? Will I be so worn out I won't be able to savor the tiny moments that fly by in a flash? No, it turns out, I have time and space for all it of it. The love for your own is incredible!

#5. The second sibling factor. Quite simply, it's crazy wild. I am watching my second baby do nothing but watch his very energetic sister all hours of the day. Granted, I'm pretty sure he's not thrilled when she's about one inch away from his face, nearly screaming at him, "goo, goo, gaaaaa, blah!! WAaaa!!" He's been startled a few times but nevertheless, his eyes are on her, as she whirls, twirls and jumps her way through the day. No joke, the second sibling is learning faster than the first one ever did, he has a perfect example in his big sister.

It's been a fast and furious four months and things are looking up. I've got this thing called motherhood where I want it, and I am so lucky to be able to take a front row seat at the story of my children's lives.

Whadya Know?! Preschool is Pretty Cool!

So the munch started preschool last week and I have to say, why didn't I think of this before?! Well, of course I did, but the kiddo missed the cutoff for several programs following the school rules of needing to be a certain age before Sept 1st last year, then I never got around to enrolling her in the new year and all of a sudden it was summer and we were moving! So here we are heading in to the first of many years of instruction and I'm keeping my fingers crossed. To be honest, this mama was more nervous about preschool than the kiddo, probably because what kid understands the ins and outs of preschool if they've never seen the inside of a school room? I went over and over in my head the possibilities and potential for all-out disaster, everything from the morning trials and tribulations of getting a so-not-a-morning-kid out of bed before 8:30 am to the crying and screaming as attempts were made to pry little arms and legs off my body. From the other kids not wanting to play right on down to her refusal to follow the rules and being left in the land of Time Out forever. Not kidding people, I actually lay awake in the early dawn of the first day worrying about the coming hours. I kept my phone attached to my person like it was sewn on, afraid I was going to miss the call from the school, demanding I pick up this crazy child.

But guess what, and this is no surprise to the veteran mommies out there.....the call never came. The almost pleasant visit to the doctor's office came and went. The hours of quiet in which were filled with quality work time and household organization were extremely fulfilling. The lunch which was eaten without having to get up once was wholeheartedly enjoyed. The kid was returned to me smiling, happy, excited to share her experience, and, after the second day, proudly announced she had napped during quiet time. So this is what it's like! It's a total win-win for everyone. The munchkin gets to be educated, entertained and have a whole day filled instead of being with a mom who is pretty darn good at filling up the time with cool things to do but is in no way SUPERMAMA. The mama gets to get things done during the day instead of in the early dawn or the wee hours of the night. Both get to enjoy afternoons together, catching up after what seems like being apart for decades. Totally awesome.

Now, this peace will be all mine for exactly two more months. After that, the fourth player in this family will be making his opening appearance and that's gonna be a whole new ballgame! It's going to take a whole new set of skills to juggle the times and trials of being a parent to two fabulous little peeps.  I can only imagine the adventures awaiting my full participation and patience. Ummm, how soon do they accept babies into preschool? Just kidding folks, cause if the little guy is to be my last baby in bunting, I'm probably going to be sobbing when his school bell rings.

Mama Finds Her Ommm Spot

Being a full time mama to a very precocious, strong-willed, almost 4 year old girl is pretty awesome. I love her enthusiasm for learning, her excitement about life and her willingness to help. Her determination rocks too....except when said determination is to make her own way of the world, and not in the way I'd like to see things happen. Now, don't get me wrong, I truly appreciate an opinion. I'm from California, remember? And I've lived in San Francisco for over 10 years, so opinionated folks are my homies. Except when the opinion is coming from my child. And it's an opinion or a stuck-in-the-mud-and-not-moving position. That's usually about the time when I say to the hubby, "this is your daughter!"

Since we've moved from San Francisco to Dallas, I feel like the determination to do everything differently than how I would prefer has gotten stronger. Could be simply because she's getting older, getting closer to the ripe old age of 4, thus making her an expert opinion on just about everything, and of course, much more knowledgable than mom. Could be because everything is new, so she's trying to establish herself in a new pad, a new city, a new routine, trying to make new friends. Could be, because secretly she's sitting in bed at night plotting, very Dr. Evil like, "now how do I take my mom to the limits of her patience, test that patience, give up just a smidgen to let her think she's got one on me and then continue to test, heeee heee hee?!" In all honesty, I doubt it's the latter but I'm thinking the former has something in the mix.

Either way, I'm having to find some serious ommm, without being able to enjoy a nice relaxing glass of vino in the evenings. Exercise usually does the trick and just as I had gotten back into a pretty impressive gym habit, considering my size and point of pregnancy, kiddo #2 decided to create some slight strain on the bod, so I've had to cut back in the last week. Hot nights on the town with the gals is a guaranteed stress reliever but my first Mom's night out of the month is tonight and lucky me, I've got one planned for Thursday too.

Writing seems to be a good outlet too, so if you see more and more of these thoughts spilled out, it's lil ol' me, trying to come to terms with being a calm and serene mother, only screaming with my mouth shut, in the bathroom, with the door shut. I'm not saying I make it to the other room every time but I try to remind myself to put my feet in her little shoes, and honestly try to look at her world. It's a pretty controlled environment, and having so little power and control over any situation on any given day would make me a crazy lady too. So I just think over and over again, empathy, empathy, serenity and peace at home. Usually does the trick. But not always.

So that's where the MNO's, the secret stash of chocolate chip cookies, a new recipe combined with a great Pandora station and the killer view of the marina and lake come into play. So far I'm pretty proud of my ability not to lose it every time the kiddo and I have a stand-off, which have come to look  a lot like a scene out of one of the Western flicks her grandpa is so fond of watching.

How do you manage to stay calm in the face of a stand off?? I'd love to hear it!!