Mama Finds Her Ommm Spot

Being a full time mama to a very precocious, strong-willed, almost 4 year old girl is pretty awesome. I love her enthusiasm for learning, her excitement about life and her willingness to help. Her determination rocks too....except when said determination is to make her own way of the world, and not in the way I'd like to see things happen. Now, don't get me wrong, I truly appreciate an opinion. I'm from California, remember? And I've lived in San Francisco for over 10 years, so opinionated folks are my homies. Except when the opinion is coming from my child. And it's an opinion or a stuck-in-the-mud-and-not-moving position. That's usually about the time when I say to the hubby, "this is your daughter!"

Since we've moved from San Francisco to Dallas, I feel like the determination to do everything differently than how I would prefer has gotten stronger. Could be simply because she's getting older, getting closer to the ripe old age of 4, thus making her an expert opinion on just about everything, and of course, much more knowledgable than mom. Could be because everything is new, so she's trying to establish herself in a new pad, a new city, a new routine, trying to make new friends. Could be, because secretly she's sitting in bed at night plotting, very Dr. Evil like, "now how do I take my mom to the limits of her patience, test that patience, give up just a smidgen to let her think she's got one on me and then continue to test, heeee heee hee?!" In all honesty, I doubt it's the latter but I'm thinking the former has something in the mix.

Either way, I'm having to find some serious ommm, without being able to enjoy a nice relaxing glass of vino in the evenings. Exercise usually does the trick and just as I had gotten back into a pretty impressive gym habit, considering my size and point of pregnancy, kiddo #2 decided to create some slight strain on the bod, so I've had to cut back in the last week. Hot nights on the town with the gals is a guaranteed stress reliever but my first Mom's night out of the month is tonight and lucky me, I've got one planned for Thursday too.

Writing seems to be a good outlet too, so if you see more and more of these thoughts spilled out, it's lil ol' me, trying to come to terms with being a calm and serene mother, only screaming with my mouth shut, in the bathroom, with the door shut. I'm not saying I make it to the other room every time but I try to remind myself to put my feet in her little shoes, and honestly try to look at her world. It's a pretty controlled environment, and having so little power and control over any situation on any given day would make me a crazy lady too. So I just think over and over again, empathy, empathy, serenity and peace at home. Usually does the trick. But not always.

So that's where the MNO's, the secret stash of chocolate chip cookies, a new recipe combined with a great Pandora station and the killer view of the marina and lake come into play. So far I'm pretty proud of my ability not to lose it every time the kiddo and I have a stand-off, which have come to look  a lot like a scene out of one of the Western flicks her grandpa is so fond of watching.

How do you manage to stay calm in the face of a stand off?? I'd love to hear it!!

Up in the Air...Away We Go...With Child!

I traveled by air for the first time at 12, across the country with a school group, for a week long adventure to New York and Boston. I vividly remember waiting in SFO airport, anticipating the unknown, the fear of what I hadn't yet done, wondering how the take-off and landing would feel, many different thoughts. Amazingly enough to me, my daughter has already traveled via jet airplane six times in her 18 months of life. A sign of changing times, no doubt, and no doubt due to the fact that the Marin daddy is the house is actually a Texan in disguise, so we have family out-of-state, a fun, loving place to which we can escape. I'm thinking about all this now because we are about to embark on a couple of months of madness. Two round-trip flights in less than three weeks.  Two weddings, both out-of-state, one really, really out of state and one close to my in-laws in Texas. It's going to be a busy, busy time for our little family and I'm trying to tackle these events head-on and with confidence.

 Traveling used to make me feel glamorous, even if because it was a change in the daily pattern called life.
Once my daughter was born I assumed and anticipated flying would be horrible. I've heard other mothers tell tales of horror, children crying for hours on end, people casting dirty looks. Well the first time we took our 2.5 month old daughter home for the holidays, she was a perfect baby, slept in the Moby wrap for over half of the trip. It wasn't so bad for us either, no crying, not much fussing. All was good. Next trip, she's 8 months old, and we  thought we had it down. Well we thought wrong. A last minute seat change placed us in the last row of a plane with only one set of bathrooms right behind us and before the attendant's prep area. We thought it would have been a good idea to take a red-eye, let her sleep, which, if we had gotten the seats we originally picked, she would have done.

 All I will say is that my level of patience and calm was certainly tested on that night. We've had a couple other flights, all with no problems, and every time we fly we get better at streamlining the process. We have discovered that our daughter can go hours without being grumpy so mid-day or early evening flights work best for us(this is something you'll figure out on your own.) Considering the location of one half of our family, it's something that will have to keep improving, especially if another baby is added to the equation. Here are some tips from yours truly on traveling with a child: (*disclosure: if you've got more than one child on board, hats off to you! I commend you on your efforts.)

• Pack Smart: As a mother you can carry-on one bag and a diaper bag. Pack essentials such as diapers, wipes, food, drink, videos, books, in the diaper bag, to be stored at your feet. Those lovely magazines and books you once read in flight? Those most likely, will remain in your carry-on, abandoned to another time and place.

• Use disposable diapers - this seems like a no brainer to 99% of women but if you were using cloth, as I was, and dragged a whole set of fuzzi bunz to Texas, like I did, then take note. It's not worth the stress and effort to change a baby on a plane, especially when you are 6'3" like my husband. The diapers will also eat up valuable packing space, something to consider with airlines often charging almost $25.00 each way per bag. There are some eco-friendly disposable brands out there and they can last up to three or four hours depending on how much your child drinks. 

• Bring snacks, lots of snacks: If your child is under six months, be prepared to breastfeed on demand or have plenty of formula prepared. The squeezeable baby food packs that are mega-popular are so for a reason. These handy dandy, no-mess, no-stress packs were a sanity-saving trick last time we traveled. Small pre-packaged snacks are good too but if you want to cut down on waste, pack a cooler. You can take milk through security, but they may ask to test any breast milk or formula before allowing it on a plane. 

• Keep them occupied: The television stays off 80% of the time in our house so the video entertainment isn't out of control. However, I am a firm believer in keeping my sanity so we bring a chargeable, portable DVD player along for the ride. We let her watch whatever she wants, within reason of course. She can pick Sesame Street, Wonder Pets, My Baby Can Talk/Read videos or even Disney. Maybe others will disagree but I feel that something such as airplane travel can be a time for treats such as video entertainment in mass amounts. Small toys are great too, keep some hidden to pull out mid-flight, "oh look honey, what I found, cool!" If your child is a bookworm like mine is, bring as many small board books that fit comfortably into your diaper bag.

• Remember that everyone was a child once: Those few people who give you and your family dirty looks? Ignore em'. 9 out of 10 people will be kind and understanding, almost everyone of your traveling companions have raised children themselves. My husband and I have yet to experience a grumpy traveler. 

I'm pretty sure there are many more excellent tips on flying with children and I'd love to hear them. The more knowledge the better! Check out my most recent contribution to the world of Marin Moms: San Rafael Patch.com's Mom's Talk

Notes to Self

Note #1: Never move a sleeping baby from a car seat to a crib unless confident transfer will be successful.

Note #2:  Change baby into fresh outfit after finishing breakfast, not prior. If not, will find self changing said baby again 1/2 hour later.

Note #3:  Have everything by the door and ready when attempting to leave house. Any delay over two minutes will ensure miniature fret fest by miniature traveler.

Note #4:  Attempt to get from living room to kitchen without spilling what has become like liquid gold: breast milk.

Note #5:  Planning a wedding while caring for 7 month old munchkin will make life very stressful but allows for the realization that said stressing over things like invitations and wedding cake is so not worth your time.