Reporting From Fifteen Weeks In….There's Light!

It's been nearly four months since the lil' guy showed up and added his own groove to our family circle. He's plump, adorable and active. Big sister is in love with him, as are my husband and I. At this point, we are starting to notice a few things.

#1.  We should have named him Houdini. The dude would not be swaddled without a fight. This kid, in the blurry, early weeks, hated swaddling in the will-fight-for-an-hour, kick legs viciously, wiggle and worm his way to freedom, those blankets will NOT stay around me kind of way. Our first child loved it, loved being wrapped into a burrito of blankets but so far, number two wants to be free, free, free, to wave his hands, chew his fists and stretch out. Most night when I come in to feed him, he's completely unwrapped and happy, happy, happy.

#2.  My baby books were helpful… but I'm not a failure for breaking rank.   I would find myself frantically thumbing through the dog-eared Mommy Guide, the super duper helpful tome to which I dutifully adhered while grooming my little lady for good sleep habits, eating habits etc., etc. Yeah, some of it works this time as well, but some of it doesn't. Some of it just doesn't apply to moms dealing with an active toddler or pre-schooler or just about any age schooler. This time around I'm trying to go with the flow, take it easy and remember no one, no mom, or dad, can do it all or be perfect.

#3.  I had SO much free time when there was only one. Only recently, as he can manage to stay up for a couple of hours and therefore has started taking longer naps, will he sleep for longer than 45 minutes. When kiddo numero uno is also on the scene, forget about it. Going to the bathroom is about all the alone time granted this mama until lights out.

#4. There is enough love for everyone. My heart is so open. The little guy is so great and so much fun already, I'm so excited to watch another fabulous human being discover what this life and this earth has to offer in the way of food, music, color, friends, reading, running, playing, nature and love. While I was pregnant with him, and I know all parents must have these thoughts, I couldn't help thinking, will I feel differently about him? Will I resent the time it takes away from my first child? Will I be so worn out I won't be able to savor the tiny moments that fly by in a flash? No, it turns out, I have time and space for all it of it. The love for your own is incredible!

#5. The second sibling factor. Quite simply, it's crazy wild. I am watching my second baby do nothing but watch his very energetic sister all hours of the day. Granted, I'm pretty sure he's not thrilled when she's about one inch away from his face, nearly screaming at him, "goo, goo, gaaaaa, blah!! WAaaa!!" He's been startled a few times but nevertheless, his eyes are on her, as she whirls, twirls and jumps her way through the day. No joke, the second sibling is learning faster than the first one ever did, he has a perfect example in his big sister.

It's been a fast and furious four months and things are looking up. I've got this thing called motherhood where I want it, and I am so lucky to be able to take a front row seat at the story of my children's lives.

Whadya Know?! Preschool is Pretty Cool!

So the munch started preschool last week and I have to say, why didn't I think of this before?! Well, of course I did, but the kiddo missed the cutoff for several programs following the school rules of needing to be a certain age before Sept 1st last year, then I never got around to enrolling her in the new year and all of a sudden it was summer and we were moving! So here we are heading in to the first of many years of instruction and I'm keeping my fingers crossed. To be honest, this mama was more nervous about preschool than the kiddo, probably because what kid understands the ins and outs of preschool if they've never seen the inside of a school room? I went over and over in my head the possibilities and potential for all-out disaster, everything from the morning trials and tribulations of getting a so-not-a-morning-kid out of bed before 8:30 am to the crying and screaming as attempts were made to pry little arms and legs off my body. From the other kids not wanting to play right on down to her refusal to follow the rules and being left in the land of Time Out forever. Not kidding people, I actually lay awake in the early dawn of the first day worrying about the coming hours. I kept my phone attached to my person like it was sewn on, afraid I was going to miss the call from the school, demanding I pick up this crazy child.

But guess what, and this is no surprise to the veteran mommies out there.....the call never came. The almost pleasant visit to the doctor's office came and went. The hours of quiet in which were filled with quality work time and household organization were extremely fulfilling. The lunch which was eaten without having to get up once was wholeheartedly enjoyed. The kid was returned to me smiling, happy, excited to share her experience, and, after the second day, proudly announced she had napped during quiet time. So this is what it's like! It's a total win-win for everyone. The munchkin gets to be educated, entertained and have a whole day filled instead of being with a mom who is pretty darn good at filling up the time with cool things to do but is in no way SUPERMAMA. The mama gets to get things done during the day instead of in the early dawn or the wee hours of the night. Both get to enjoy afternoons together, catching up after what seems like being apart for decades. Totally awesome.

Now, this peace will be all mine for exactly two more months. After that, the fourth player in this family will be making his opening appearance and that's gonna be a whole new ballgame! It's going to take a whole new set of skills to juggle the times and trials of being a parent to two fabulous little peeps.  I can only imagine the adventures awaiting my full participation and patience. Ummm, how soon do they accept babies into preschool? Just kidding folks, cause if the little guy is to be my last baby in bunting, I'm probably going to be sobbing when his school bell rings.

Mama Finds Her Ommm Spot

Being a full time mama to a very precocious, strong-willed, almost 4 year old girl is pretty awesome. I love her enthusiasm for learning, her excitement about life and her willingness to help. Her determination rocks too....except when said determination is to make her own way of the world, and not in the way I'd like to see things happen. Now, don't get me wrong, I truly appreciate an opinion. I'm from California, remember? And I've lived in San Francisco for over 10 years, so opinionated folks are my homies. Except when the opinion is coming from my child. And it's an opinion or a stuck-in-the-mud-and-not-moving position. That's usually about the time when I say to the hubby, "this is your daughter!"

Since we've moved from San Francisco to Dallas, I feel like the determination to do everything differently than how I would prefer has gotten stronger. Could be simply because she's getting older, getting closer to the ripe old age of 4, thus making her an expert opinion on just about everything, and of course, much more knowledgable than mom. Could be because everything is new, so she's trying to establish herself in a new pad, a new city, a new routine, trying to make new friends. Could be, because secretly she's sitting in bed at night plotting, very Dr. Evil like, "now how do I take my mom to the limits of her patience, test that patience, give up just a smidgen to let her think she's got one on me and then continue to test, heeee heee hee?!" In all honesty, I doubt it's the latter but I'm thinking the former has something in the mix.

Either way, I'm having to find some serious ommm, without being able to enjoy a nice relaxing glass of vino in the evenings. Exercise usually does the trick and just as I had gotten back into a pretty impressive gym habit, considering my size and point of pregnancy, kiddo #2 decided to create some slight strain on the bod, so I've had to cut back in the last week. Hot nights on the town with the gals is a guaranteed stress reliever but my first Mom's night out of the month is tonight and lucky me, I've got one planned for Thursday too.

Writing seems to be a good outlet too, so if you see more and more of these thoughts spilled out, it's lil ol' me, trying to come to terms with being a calm and serene mother, only screaming with my mouth shut, in the bathroom, with the door shut. I'm not saying I make it to the other room every time but I try to remind myself to put my feet in her little shoes, and honestly try to look at her world. It's a pretty controlled environment, and having so little power and control over any situation on any given day would make me a crazy lady too. So I just think over and over again, empathy, empathy, serenity and peace at home. Usually does the trick. But not always.

So that's where the MNO's, the secret stash of chocolate chip cookies, a new recipe combined with a great Pandora station and the killer view of the marina and lake come into play. So far I'm pretty proud of my ability not to lose it every time the kiddo and I have a stand-off, which have come to look  a lot like a scene out of one of the Western flicks her grandpa is so fond of watching.

How do you manage to stay calm in the face of a stand off?? I'd love to hear it!!

Cali Mama on Red Tricycle

Just wanted to share some of my posts from Red Tricycle, where I'm currently writing for the national issue. It's a great guide to having fun with families!!

http://redtri.com/awesome-growth-charts/

http://redtri.com/storage-solutions-for-arts-and-crafts/

http://redtri.com/atlanta/eco-fabulous-skin-care-for-kids/

http://redtri.com/atlanta/diy-indoor-activities/

http://redtri.com/stylish-diaper-bags/


Stay tuned for more great stories!!!

NorCal Mama Settles In...And Starts To Melt

Well, it's been just over a month since we made the BIG move to the BIG D. My experience was rather enjoyable actually, thanks to a First Class ticket for the kiddo and myself. It's a whole new world beyond those curtains I tell ya! Our arrival was smooth, and our transition in becoming pool devotees was pretty quick, although apparently the powers that be really wanted to make me feel welcome in the Lone Star State. News Flash! The month of July '13 in Dallas was one of the coolest in decades. Yeah folks, I'm talking about highs in the 90's with lows in the high 60's, unheard of, according to seasoned Texans. Having grown up in the Sac Valley, I actually dealt with these temps rather well, in fact, was enjoying them, being acclimated to 70's and 80's with lows in the 50's in Marin and the Bay Area. Joined a couple of mother's clubs, started driving everywhere, and realized I still couldn't hit the parks unless it was before noon or after 6pm. It's library fun, pools, water parks, gym class and shade for us, probably until about mid-September.

Now, about this hot weather. I'm sure being the proud owner of a basketball style belly is adding to the heat factor. But it's hot. Super-duper hot. Like it's been in the 100's every day for a week and shows no sign of a cool front, anywhere on the horizon. I've almost been wishing my weakness was kinda like the Wicked Witch of the West, you know, the gal who melts when splashed by a bucket of water? Yeah, I'm thinking about that, a lot. Cause I'm melting without the water. Give me water, give me a pool. Lucky for us, the sweet spot we landed is about 100 feet from a fantastic pool that seems to be open just about all hours of the day. Also lucky for us, the Cullen Clan of Texas are the proud owners of one of the nicest pools in which I've ever spent time, complete with a fabulous view of the lake, not bad at all! So we'll stick to water during the day, hanging at the park at night, finding indoor play spots and just getting used to the weather. I'm sure, or at least, I'm hoping, next year I'll be adjusted and since I won't be sporting the beach ball belly, it will be a little more tolerable.

Till next time, think of a pool and think of me!

Marin Mama Goes Head to Head....With the Righteous Mommy

Okay, this is a little bit of a rant. I'm a pretty laid back mama. Rules are definitely important, as is respect and listening but overall, I'm up for letting kids figure it on their own, sans the hover-style parenting many people seem to find so fashionable these days. For example: leaving your kid in the car for over 60 seconds to run an errand, even if the windows are down....maybe not such a great idea. Walking away from a screaming 3 year old who won't leave the confines of the toy ship at the local children's museum....totally acceptable. I'm talking maybe 50 yards here, with sight of said screamer at all times. Honestly, it was either walk away and hope she follows or rip her out of the ship and carry a kicking, screaming, very unhappy child to the front gate. I opted for the former, because, again, I think it's important to let kids figure some things out on their own. RIGHT?!!

 Well apparently this was very, very wrong for another mom today. She saw the kiddo's face coming from out of the ship window  and made a beeline for the thing. I was already walking back towards the ship because it was very obvious my brilliant plan wasn't working this time round. She looked at me, looked at the screamer, looked at me again and kept walking. I called out "It's okay, she's mine, it's totally fine" and I got the most distasteful-you-are-an-awful parent look, one of the worst I've seen in some time.

I almost laughed because it really was funny. There was absolutely no chance of anything happening. The place was closing and no one was there, just me, the screamer and this worry wort of a parent who clearly thinks I'm going about child rearing the total wrong way.

Being overly sensitive? Perhaps. But really!? I can't get 50 yards away with kid in sight without being frowned upon? What's next? If I let my kid climb the ladder to the "Big Kid" slide, am I totally irresponsible? Sorry, I'm just of the school of common sense. I mean, kids have been around for how long and are pretty resilient, in my opinion. Especially if she's got me watching from the sidelines.

Marin Mama Stays Calm....Even During the Storms

I've learned that my precocious daughter is huge a tantrum thrower. Now, on authority from this mama's own mama, I too, was a thrower of the mighty storm. I'm talking on the ground, red faced, drama queen style screaming. And lucky me, (and too my mother's delight) I am raising a fantastically smart, stubborn and opinionated little girl. Seriously, I do feel quite lucky. Even when she's on the ground, about 25 yards behind me in the mall, screaming for all the world to hear. Because I know this strength and feeling she has about, oh say, riding the rides when I don't have any quarters, will help her succeed in the future. Because she'll never take it sitting down. Because she'll fight for what she wants, because she'll refuse to give up. Doesn't every mother hope for that kind of determination and strength in a child? Even if it means you feel like you might be going insane at this very moment? Or even if you get those knowing looks and smiles from those who've tread the path before you?

My answer is yes. I'm willing to deal with the drama now, because I know my kiddo won't just sit back and watch her life pass by. Nope, this one is hopping on the happening train and taking over for the conductor!!  At this point, I just need to ride out the tantrum and feel confident that these exhausting moments will come back and give her a little kick in the behind.

And when she has a daughter of her own, I'll be able to look back and feel just as proud of her as my mother feels of me.

Marin Mama Races her Tot....And Loses!

Okay, so I realize it's important to encourage our children, especially when they are doing something wonderful, healthy, important or amazing. But what if said child is doing this amazing activity in a place that is TOTALLY not the right spot to be practicing these awesome skills? Do you reprimand or encourage? Do you let your kiddo run wild because they have a keen sense of direction? Do you hope that your marathon runner might make it back over to you? Do you let your kid swim off into the sunset? How does one balance the props for skills and the desire to keep a child within arm's reach, which, at any age before ???? is the best option.

Let me elaborate. My daughter has recently discovered she prefers to be on her feet while we run errands to any store, more specifically, the mother of stores, you know the one to which I refer....Target. Oh Targjayy, how we love you. We love the "One Spot" we love the walls of candy, we love the aisles in which we run, at full speed. Wait....back up, no, my daughter loves the aisles at which she runs full speed.

I on the other hand, after having a serious heart to heart with a 2.5 year old with her own opinions, do not love the aisles. They have corners and my kid runs too fast for me to maneuver the stupid cart I thought I needed. I can hear her pitter patter down the main center aisle, I can hear here saying "Mommy I run fast!" There is such enthusiasm in her voice it almost makes me feel guilty to run after her, huffing and puffing, cart abandoned, sweep her up and literally force her into the cart seat. I gotta get stuff done! Kiddo, we are not training for a marathon at the local TARGET!!!

After that, our trip isn't so much fun. But the child just runs TOO FAST!! And she's TOO CUTE, and people look at me weird when she's running away, nearly 20 yards ahead of me. Hopefully as time continues, she'll enjoy browsing at the slow pace I used to enjoy. When she was about 2 weeks old. And asleep the entire trip.

My New List on Skinny Scoop

Books My Kiddo Loves: From one bookworm raising another, here are some of our favorite books to read.

Books My Kiddo Loves

Marin Mama Faces no Man's Land: In between the Toilet and the Diapers

***Post Disclaimer: This one if full of poop and pee, those of you with an aversion to potty humor quit reading now.****


Okay, I knew potty training would be something of a serious matter. So serious in fact, I was and am determined not to rush this delicate process. We use cloth diapers at home and corn starch diapers out in the field so I'm not thinking about what diapers cost or the danger to the environment. I'm also OK with my daughter not being ready to move from diapers to the toilet. She's had a little green potty chair for over 6 months and the only thing she does with it is use the bottom half as a stool while brushing her little teeth. Every time in the last few months when I asked her if she wanted to give the thing a test run the answer was "no." So totally not ready to play the potty game. Then again, for a while there her answer to EVERYTHING was "no," probably because she liked the way it sounds and she enjoys the reaction mom gives her after hearing the world 500,000 times in one day.

So I quit asking.  For a while. However, in recent weeks I've observed her observing that sometimes, whoops all of a sudden, "Gee, I'm carrying a load in my pants."  It's kind of funny to watch a child go from unaware of bodily functions to extremely aware and better yet, exceedingly helpful when attempting to rid herself of said load. It's also interesting to hear her offer up helpful information like, "Mommy, poop, bobo!" translation: Mom, there's is something in my pants, it came from my bottom. 


As much as I appreciate her helpful hints, I'm not what you'd call thrilled when seeing her fingers full of you-know-what, after she's shoved her hand down her pants to figure out what just happened. Lucky for me she's quick to let me know what treasure has been literally dug up. I'm also not super excited to see that while napping she's stripped her self down and peed all over her sheets. Truth be told, sometimes she takes the diaper off and then pees on the sheets. Or maybe that was only when she was bummed to be in her crib when she wasn't ready to take a nap.

 It's all part of the learning process and I think it's great that she's becoming award of her humanly function all on her own. I'll admit the clean up can be frustrating, extreme patience will be necessary when she actually begins training and it's really hard not to laugh when your kid shows you a handful of poop but all in all, I think she'll get it down in no time. Maybe not 3 days, but hey, who's counting?

Marin Mama Tries to Unplug...And Fails

There is a reason why this is my first post in over two months. Simply, my workload has been over the top overwhelming. Although I love my job in media relations, it's been a challenging couple of months. Not to mention that the kiddo turned two and we had a blast at the party, complete with a bubble machine and cookie decorating. Needless to say, I was BUSY! But now the craziness has returned to it's level of normalcy, after all, my house wouldn't be my house without some sort of crazy talk,  and I'm finding myself...well, a little sad. I know what you must be thinking, "she was talking about how stressed she was, she was talking about never working in this field again," and true, I said and felt those emotions. Of course, that was when none of my editors or journalists were responding to my pitches. Once the press coverage started coming in, I was feeling great, awesome in fact!

So now, the month of birthdays has passed, the baby showers have passed, the event planning has passed,  and I'm still plugged in to my computer, my iPhone, waiting for the latest update to hit the wires. It could be that I just don't know how to relax! These days, being connected is everything and to really be "connected" and remember I'm talking about electronic connections, not real life connections, you have to constantly be on the update and I mean that in the most literal sense of the word. I realize that this is my job, especially since public relations has come to mean social online relations in a large part, but sometimes I wonder if I could go a day without any electronics. I'd like to think so but it's hard. I've made a note to leave my phone in the car while the kiddo and I are at the park or on the hiking trail. Those precious hours can't be done over and I should make an effort to keep the networking and the updating confined to a few hours a day, preferably when I'm working for the few moments a day when the nap is in full force.

Living in this fast paced society, especially the Bay Area, has taken it's toll on this Marin Mama. The sense of needing to do something, "Quick, check-in, connect, update!" can get out of control and it's time I slow it down a little. This weather won't stay nice for too much longer and then I'll be desperate for entertainment which doesn't include a TV.

Marin Mama Contemplates Clothing...Is it All That Important?

I've been told by that upon receiving my first pair of black patent leather shoes I insisted in wearing them everywhere, even to bed. Apparently I would have my mother sit them right alongside the bathtub so as soon as I was toweling off, those shoes could go right back on my feet. My youngest sister was on the opposite spectrum, not wanting to wear clothes at all, in fact, the less of them the better. My husband is very particular about his shoes and the way they fit. So, should it even be a surprise to me in the last couple of weeks I've been battling the battle which has no end? The Clothing Battle. Yes parents you know exactly what I'm referring to here, don't try to deny it. The struggle that sounds something like "do you really want to wear fur lined boots in July? Don't you think you'll be cold running errands in a swim suit today, considering that it's December? Do you realize that you've got two different shoes on darling?" It can go on for hours, months or even years. 

My kid just started getting weird about clothing and I chalk it up to a week in Dallas, where everyone is practically naked during the summer anyways, and to my family living in a moderate climate where a winter coat is almost never necessary. I tried reasoning with her to put on socks and shoes and a shirt the other day but then I realized two things; 1. Why am I reasoning with a 22 month old toddler who says NO to everything I ask anyways? and 2. Does it really matter if she runs errands with no shirt on? Isn't that considered the norm in Europe? 

To answer my own questions, I don't know why I would try to reason with someone who doesn't really understand the concept, unless of course, she was headed out in a snow storm with her bathrobe on. And second, No, it doesn't matter if she runs errands with no shirt on, in fact, it might make my trip more pleasurable. She's happy, I'm happy she's happy, no one is in danger, we have success!! It's these small battles we as parents ought to let the kids win. Their choices are so limited and really boil down to what they are allowed to do and not to do. To quote one woman who commented on my daughter with a smile "Might as well let her do it while she can" which is very wise because sooner than later she'll be worried about the latest styles and what her friends and idols are wearing. I should be thrilled that this means nothing to her as of yet, that she couldn't care less how she looks to others. I can only hope that some aspect of that carries through her life, creating a confident woman who looks great but doesn't need to worry about looking perfect. It's definitely not worth losing 30 minutes of our day over. In fact, she practically ran out the door in joy the day she wore nothing but a pair of leggings. To her, she was dressed exactly as she wanted and was happy the way she was. 

Marin Mama Follows the Crumbs on the Quest for Clean

I've always been somewhat tidy, in fact, I'd call myself an organized, clean person. I thought this to be a great asset until my first born (and only so far) became a hungry, busy toddler. Now that I'm a parent, I've realized being a clean person sort of morphs into one of two things after the birth of children. A parent either gives up the quest for clean as a lost cause and no longer follows the crumbs or a parent takes on the quest for clean wholeheartedly, as if following the crumbs will prevent more crumbs from falling. Well I am of the latter group and just can't seem to give up on the quest completely. A clean house is something of an achievement, especially to those parents who work full time AND parent. I work part-time and am the CEO of my household. I like my lists made and my laundry folded. I like a shiny clean sink and it's a little sick how excited I get upon seeing how much dirt I manage to vacuum out of the three tiny rooms over which I reside as Queen of Clean.

This used to be a lot easier. The kiddo was messy but it was a moderate mess. Totally manageable and not without reason. Alas, this is no longer. I follow the crumbs on the quest for clean because my 22 month old daughter seems to have taken a liking to throwing almost any type of food on the ground. Carpet, linoleum, tile, no matter, she'll throw food on any surface available. The trail of cheerios can be found from the kitchen to the living room and into her tiny bedroom. The goldfish crackers can be found under the kitchen island, near the TV and even in the bathtub, where my precocious young thing has been testing out her theory of whether or not those things can actually swim. It’s like she’s Sir Isaac Newton having just discovered the law of gravity and can’t stop throwing things down. “Oh Wow! Those peas and tomatoes really DO drop to the ground and roll away under the refrigerator....Hmmmm, avocado and cheese sticks don’t really bounce, in fact, they stick to the ground nicely.” It’s amazing that she’s discovering the laws of science but it messes with my quest for clean!

I can only imagine what a second child does to mamas following the crumbs. Could be that the mess just gets bigger and still gets cleaned up. Could be that the mess overtakes the quest and it’s forced to take a back seat to the quest for sanity. I’ll have to get back to you on that one...maybe you can tell me!?

Gaa, gooo, lalala, "No Mama NO!!!!.......Wait, what did you just say?!!!

If you're wondering just what I meant by my blog post title, well it's pretty simple. My 20 month old daughter has figured out how to use her tongue to form words, all kinds of words! "Mama" was there a few months ago, a given ;), and there was a favorite dog at Nana and Grandpa's who became known as "baa baa" a well produced version of his name, Ricky Bobby, then we heard "Daa Dee" which excited my husband to no end, he just loves hearing her say Daddy, over and over and over and over. Well this mom loved hearing all the words too. I love the animal sounds she's figured out, sounds like moo, woof and a lions roar. All amazing, all fun and yes, she's so smart!!  Then yesterday arrived......and so did the word "NO." Yup, the kid has learned how to say No and in an amazing amount of time ( did I mention she's sharp?) she also has figured out just what that word means. The fun shall now begin.

No mommy, no! No, mommy NO!!! NO! NO! NO! NO! No diaper change, no clothing change, No leave the pool, No get in car seat, NO, NO, NO!!. In the course of a mere 48 hours I can honestly say I've heard NO at least a hundred times. Which got me to thinking, should I have not used that word while helping her understand there are limits? Mommy and daddy know best and that no, you can't go into the street? Or, no jumping on the couch? She's not trying to defy me, just yet anyways, I mean, the darling is only 20 months old and a very good girl. I chalk it up to new words and that wonderful time in a child's life where there is so much to learn and do that it is simply overwhelming. It's pretty funny though, when I think about how it must look, a child kicking and screaming NO MOMMY NO!! She's not the first and she won't be the last, so I find comfort in knowing there are so many other mommy's out there having dealt with the very same issues now challenging me. In fact, I happen to know that yours truly was a fine tantrum thrower and used NO quite often, according to my own dear mother.

Up in the Air...Away We Go...With Child!

I traveled by air for the first time at 12, across the country with a school group, for a week long adventure to New York and Boston. I vividly remember waiting in SFO airport, anticipating the unknown, the fear of what I hadn't yet done, wondering how the take-off and landing would feel, many different thoughts. Amazingly enough to me, my daughter has already traveled via jet airplane six times in her 18 months of life. A sign of changing times, no doubt, and no doubt due to the fact that the Marin daddy is the house is actually a Texan in disguise, so we have family out-of-state, a fun, loving place to which we can escape. I'm thinking about all this now because we are about to embark on a couple of months of madness. Two round-trip flights in less than three weeks.  Two weddings, both out-of-state, one really, really out of state and one close to my in-laws in Texas. It's going to be a busy, busy time for our little family and I'm trying to tackle these events head-on and with confidence.

 Traveling used to make me feel glamorous, even if because it was a change in the daily pattern called life.
Once my daughter was born I assumed and anticipated flying would be horrible. I've heard other mothers tell tales of horror, children crying for hours on end, people casting dirty looks. Well the first time we took our 2.5 month old daughter home for the holidays, she was a perfect baby, slept in the Moby wrap for over half of the trip. It wasn't so bad for us either, no crying, not much fussing. All was good. Next trip, she's 8 months old, and we  thought we had it down. Well we thought wrong. A last minute seat change placed us in the last row of a plane with only one set of bathrooms right behind us and before the attendant's prep area. We thought it would have been a good idea to take a red-eye, let her sleep, which, if we had gotten the seats we originally picked, she would have done.

 All I will say is that my level of patience and calm was certainly tested on that night. We've had a couple other flights, all with no problems, and every time we fly we get better at streamlining the process. We have discovered that our daughter can go hours without being grumpy so mid-day or early evening flights work best for us(this is something you'll figure out on your own.) Considering the location of one half of our family, it's something that will have to keep improving, especially if another baby is added to the equation. Here are some tips from yours truly on traveling with a child: (*disclosure: if you've got more than one child on board, hats off to you! I commend you on your efforts.)

• Pack Smart: As a mother you can carry-on one bag and a diaper bag. Pack essentials such as diapers, wipes, food, drink, videos, books, in the diaper bag, to be stored at your feet. Those lovely magazines and books you once read in flight? Those most likely, will remain in your carry-on, abandoned to another time and place.

• Use disposable diapers - this seems like a no brainer to 99% of women but if you were using cloth, as I was, and dragged a whole set of fuzzi bunz to Texas, like I did, then take note. It's not worth the stress and effort to change a baby on a plane, especially when you are 6'3" like my husband. The diapers will also eat up valuable packing space, something to consider with airlines often charging almost $25.00 each way per bag. There are some eco-friendly disposable brands out there and they can last up to three or four hours depending on how much your child drinks. 

• Bring snacks, lots of snacks: If your child is under six months, be prepared to breastfeed on demand or have plenty of formula prepared. The squeezeable baby food packs that are mega-popular are so for a reason. These handy dandy, no-mess, no-stress packs were a sanity-saving trick last time we traveled. Small pre-packaged snacks are good too but if you want to cut down on waste, pack a cooler. You can take milk through security, but they may ask to test any breast milk or formula before allowing it on a plane. 

• Keep them occupied: The television stays off 80% of the time in our house so the video entertainment isn't out of control. However, I am a firm believer in keeping my sanity so we bring a chargeable, portable DVD player along for the ride. We let her watch whatever she wants, within reason of course. She can pick Sesame Street, Wonder Pets, My Baby Can Talk/Read videos or even Disney. Maybe others will disagree but I feel that something such as airplane travel can be a time for treats such as video entertainment in mass amounts. Small toys are great too, keep some hidden to pull out mid-flight, "oh look honey, what I found, cool!" If your child is a bookworm like mine is, bring as many small board books that fit comfortably into your diaper bag.

• Remember that everyone was a child once: Those few people who give you and your family dirty looks? Ignore em'. 9 out of 10 people will be kind and understanding, almost everyone of your traveling companions have raised children themselves. My husband and I have yet to experience a grumpy traveler. 

I'm pretty sure there are many more excellent tips on flying with children and I'd love to hear them. The more knowledge the better! Check out my most recent contribution to the world of Marin Moms: San Rafael Patch.com's Mom's Talk

Marin Mama Takes a Moment for the Unsung Hero...Her Marin Daddy

I started this blog to chronicle the adventures of being a new mom in Marin County. So far, in the 17 months since I gladly took on the title of Marin Mama, every day has been a blessing, of course, the standard tantrum or poopy diaper included as part of the blessing. It is with a whole heart that I enjoy living in one of the most naturally beautiful places on Earth, with thousands of nature lovers who not only embrace but enthuse the good points of getting out into Marin County; full of wondrous trails, gorgeous peaks by the sea, ancient redwoods and pedestrian friendly paths. The kid and I, we get out, we explore, we sing, we play.

This Marin Mama is very grateful that she's able to work weekends and stay at home during the week. This is all possible of course, because of Marin Daddy, at least, our Marin Daddy. He works hard, drives faster than I'd like in order to get home before bedtime or, if he's lucky, dinnertime. He doesn't get to go for a walk in the middle of the day. He doesn't get to stroll through the mall or go to Jumping Jacks or story time. He calls on his lunch break and wants to know what we've been doing with our day. It's times such as this that I ponder the roles of mother and father and usually I'm pretty happy that I'm the Marin Mama. My career prior to mother was a good one and I still have a small side business. I loved my job, no doubt, but I love being a stay-at-home-mother (SAHM) more than I ever imagined possible.

The Marin Daddy in our house is a hands-on-dad, when he's home. Since I work at least one weekend day, that's Daddy Day in our house, and usually, when I see the munch (my daughter) after Daddy Day, she's usually wearing an outfit I would never have picked and the house is often times pretty cluttered. The baby is sometimes dirty like she's been playing outdoors for hours upon end, she's sleepy and always, always, blissfully happy. These things, which sometimes add to my exhaustion, always make me happy because it's clear how much those two enjoy their time together, without Mommy. I am so grateful that my husband is so in love with our daughter. Unfortunately, not all fathers are willing to changes diapers, do a bath or even be a parent. There is no "babysitting" the munch when daddy's on duty, it's just daddy and baby time.

He is the unsung hero of The Chronicles, he is a fabulous father and I know that my daughter is one of the luckiest little girls in Marin County, maybe even, the whole world.

www.skinnyscoop.com

Marin Mama and Baby Go Head to Head.....Are the Terrible Two's Here Already?

Now that my daughter is what we call a toddler, having moved from the so-called baby stage so quickly that I swear it happened over night, we have run up against the period of time designated as "The Terrible Twos" which for convenience sake we'll shorten to the TTs. Wait a second, the kid's only 16 months old! Surely she hasn't hit her TTs yet....so what's my excuse for the recent bursts of emotions ranging from frustrated to sad to mad? Ummmm, guess I don't have one. In the last week or two our little walker has discovered something....something called willpower. Something that I thought was oh so cute and amazing when she wouldn't give up, when she refused to take no for an answer, has turned around and bitten me in the behind.

After all, this Marin Mama was planning on raising a power daughter, someone who will take on the world, all the while rockin' her 5 inch stilettos. It never occurred to me that my power daughter and I would begin having a power struggle at such a tender age.  Thank goodness I'm attempting to be objective in raising my child, and thank goodness my husband approaches child rearing in the same manner. We believe in rules and respect but we can be lax about bedtimes and snacks in between meals. She seems to do well with Dad but lately she's been difficult with me and I've had to thumb my way through my favorite child-rearing book to get some ideas as to why this might be. After a couple of days I think I might have found some answers.

I am a very laughable person. I have a cheery disposition and being firm and serious is not of my nature. That being said, having to discipline is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I'm having to push aside all my own emotions when dealing with a breakdown. Even though sometimes I want  to laugh because her little fit is so cute, I simply cannot. I have to be serious, consistent and firm. Is it possible that she knows this? It feels like this could be the truth because she has begun to test my limits, test my patience, test the very thing she's using to cement her position, willpower.

Looking at this behavior from my daughter's point of view might be more productive. She sees something, she wants it, simple fact. She doesn't yet understand about waiting, sharing is a new idea as well. It's up to me to teach her that she can't always have something right this very minute, now, now, now!! She doesn't understand that chewing on that pen cap haphazardly isn't safe, in fact, it's a total choking hazard. Parents sometimes want their children to imagine them as a friend that they can forget their #1 job isn't to be a friend, it's to be a parent, someone to put the smack down, to have the answers, to make the rules. Being a friend is important, no doubt, but it comes second in the order of what is necessary to create respectful, happy children. At least, it is in my opinion, and I know how many different opinions are out there. My daughter will never look at me as only her friend, I am her mother. As much as I'm going to want to bond and giggle and share my favorite girlie things with her, there has to be a line I remember to toe. She has to respect and like me in order for this thing called parenthood to work. I can only hope as she grows I'll be able to do the dance between friend and parent, having a blast and earning respect at the same time.

www.skinnyscoop.com